Out of My League
Wow. I haven’t sent a Loaves Letter since December. Cool, cool, cool. (Insert sarcasm.)
A lot has happened since then. I signed with a publisher beginning of January—yay!—and then, immediately, they requested my manuscript for copyediting—woah, so fast!
I’d spent the last several months building this newsletter, building a website, and Messy Days, Mighty God felt… dusty. I hadn’t touched it in months. So I dove back in, worked nonstop, and Saturday—I finally sent it off.
And then? Well… the next steps come quicker than I anticipated. Letters I need from anyone I quote or mention. Forms to fill out. Cover design directions. Emotions I want evoked. All of it's new for me. Daunting, friends.
And in the back of my mind, I kept thinking… “I need to send a Loaves Letter.”
You are my people supporting this project. You deserve an update. So as a nod to my current overwhelm, I thought I'd send a sneak peek from Messy Days, Mighty God: Building Faith in Real Life, Day 18: Out of My League.
I hope it lands.
Out of My League
If debating with God were an Olympic sport, I’d have a shelf full of trophies—and a highlight reel to review.
I can rationalize, delay, negotiate, and spiritualize hesitation like a pro. Color-coded pros-and-cons list. I’ll ask for “confirmation.” I’ll “pray about it” long enough for the urgency to fade.
And if all else fails, I’ll convince myself that obedience can wait until things feel clearer, calmer, or more convenient.
Maybe you can relate.
What I’ve learned the hard way is this: God’s not just in the business of changing us; He’s in the business of working through us. And those assignments rarely arrive wrapped in confidence and fully clarity of how it is going to work.
More often, they show up feeling oversized. Awkard. Out of our depth.
That’s not accidental.
The moment you feel out of your league is often the moment you’re standing right where He wants you—aware of your limits and fully dependent of Him.
His asks come in all seasons and sizes. Like the time I joined the high school tennis team without ever holding a racket. I was a walking blooper reel. But that shaky yes four years later turned into a trip to state--and a huge blessing of a college scholarship.
Then there are the more emotional assignments. When we were fostering our daughter, I felt God nudging me to build a relationship with her birth mom. I so badly wanted to deny the assignment. Logic said, “too messy” and “protect yourself.” Friends said “pray He sends someone else. You have your hands full.” But God said, “love her too.”
It’s rare that we get to see some part of the puzzle pieces of His plan come together. But when we do, those glimpses become road maps of His faithfulness-confidence for the next assignment.
The relationship I formed with our daughter’s other mom allowed for a moment later I’ll always cherish. It was the last time I saw her, at a deciding court date. Before I left, I hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear that we loved her and were for her, not against her, that we wanted to stay in touch and have a good relationship with her. I didn’t know that she would pass away within a year. But God knew. And because I listened to His direction, I’m able to tell our daughter: “I knew your other mom. I loved her.” That gift is priceless.
Here's the pattern: assignments that feel impossible are often the ones that reveal His faithfulness most clearly. They stretch us, but they also anchor us. They expose our weakness but showcase His power.
Architect’s Notes.
Exodus 4:10-12 “Then Moses said to the Lord, ‘O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.’ So the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord”. Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.’”
--Moses wrestled with his own limits. God didn’t correct his self-assessment—He just reminded Moses who was going with him.
Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path.”
--You may not get a detailed map—but you will get a lamp.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
--Your weakness is not a liability—it’s a launch pad for His power.
1 Thessalonians 5:24 “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.”
--If He gave you the assignment, He’s already lined up the provision.
Daily Debrief
We prefer control, clarity, details. A GPS with turn-by-turn instructions and estimated arrival times. But that’s not usually how He works.
Instead of a 5-year plan, you might get… one small step.
It’s not a setup. It’s not a test. It’s an invitation--into trust, intimacy, and dependence with the One who sees the full picture.
So maybe the thing He’s asking you to do feels ridiculous. Too big. Too messy. Too risky. Good--you’re probably right where He wants you.
Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fail-A, said “Ideas come from God—but they won’t keep. They have to be acted.”
I don’t want to get to heaven and see a highlight reel of all the things I could have done.
Scripture is full of people who felt outmatched for their assignment: Moses, David, Esther, Noah, Mary--and so many more.
None of them started with a complete picture. None of them had an impressive resume.
But God has never seemed to be impressed with the right resume.
He’s drawn to willing hearts.
A yes whispered before confidence catches up.
A willing step before the full path is visible.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase.
You don’t have to know how it ends.
You just have to trust the One who’s already standing at the top—and take the next step He’s placing in front of you.
Builder’s Log
Know Me: Lord, what dream or direction have I quietly dismissed because it felt too big or far beyond my comfort zone?
Search Me: Where am I letting “what ifs” speak louder than Your voice?
Reveal to Me: Remind me of times I couldn’t see or understand the big picture, yet you gave me a glimpse of Your perfect plans. How can that be a stepping stone of confidence towards what You’re asking of me next?
Worksite Worship:
“Big God” Terrian
“In the Room” Tasha Cobbs Leonard
