I almost threw in the towel this week. Between writing deadlines, kids’ schedules, and feeling behind on just about everything, the mental spiral was real. Which is exactly why I realized this might be the worst possible time to quit.

If debating with God were an Olympic sport, I’d have a shelf full of trophies—and a highlight reel to review.

I can rationalize, delay, negotiate, and spiritualize hesitation like a pro. Color-coded pros-and-cons list. I’ll ask for “confirmation.” I’ll “pray about it” long enough for the urgency to fade.

And if all else fails, I’ll convince myself that obedience can wait until things feel clearer, calmer, or more convenient.

Maybe you can relate.

What I’ve learned the hard way is this: God’s not just in the business of changing us; He’s in the business of working through us. And those assignments rarely arrive wrapped in confidence and full clarity.

What are you reaching for on autopilot? A December reflection on habits, distractions, and creating space to live fully.

Mary’s Christmas wasn’t what anyone expected—an angel shows up, a question-filled yes changes everything, and hope breaks in where confusion reigns. Here’s to a Christmas that surprises us.

I know He is trustworthy. I know His plans are good. And yet… sometimes I don’t. Which brings me to Thomas—the disciple who believed, but still needed to see. Relatable, right?

Most scholars believe God flips between calling him Jacob and Israel to show that even after receiving a new identity, he still struggled with fear and weakness. Jacob when he relied on himself… Israel when he trusted God.

I’ve wanted to write for years, but I kept waiting until I felt confident and ‘ready.’ Turns out, God wasn’t asking for polished — just for a willing yes.